Sirrah, go you to Barthol’mew my page,
And see him dress’d in all suits like a lady:
That done, conduct him to the drunkard’s chamber; 105
And call him ‘madam,’ do him obeisance.
Tell him from me, as he will win my love,
He bear himself with honourable action,
Such as he hath observed in noble ladies
Unto their lords, by them accomplished: 110
Such duty to the drunkard let him do
With soft low tongue and lowly courtesy,
And say, ‘What is’t your honour will command,
Wherein your lady and your humble wife
May show her duty and make known her love?’ 115
And then with kind embracements, tempting kisses,
And with declining head into his bosom,
Bid him shed tears, as being overjoy’d
To see her noble lord restored to health,
Who for this seven years hath esteemed him 120
No better than a poor and loathsome beggar:
And if the boy have not a woman’s gift
To rain a shower of commanded tears,
An onion will do well for such a shift,
Which in a napkin being close convey’d 125
Shall in despite enforce a watery eye.
See this dispatch’d with all the haste thou canst:
Anon I’ll give thee more instructions. [_Exit a Servingman._
I know the boy will well usurp the grace,
Voice, gait and action of a gentlewoman: 130
I long to hear him call the drunkard husband,
And how my men will stay themselves from laughter
When they do homage to this simple peasant.
I’ll in to counsel them; haply my presence
May well abate the over-merry spleen 135
Which otherwise would grow into extremes. [_Exeunt._

LINENOTES:

[INDUCTION.] Pope. om. Ff Q. See note (I).

[SCENE I. Before …] Theobald. A Hedge Ale-house. Capell.

[Enter …] Enter Begger and Hostes, Christophero Sly. Ff Q.

[1] _pheeze_] _fese_ (Q).

[2] _stocks_] F3 F4. _stockes_ F1 Q.] _stokes_ F2.

[4] _came in_] _came_ Rowe (ed. 1).

[5] _paucas_] _paucus_ F4.

[7] _Go by, Jeronimy_] _goe by Ieronimie_ Q. _go by S. Ieronimie_ Ff
(_Ieronimy_ F2. _Jeronimy_ F3 F4). _go by, Jeronimo_ Theobald. ‘_go
by_,’ _says Jeronimy_ Steevens (Capell conj.). _go–by S. Jeronimy_
Knight. See note (II).

[9] _thirdborough_] Theobald. _head-borough_ Ff Q.

[10] [Exit.] Rowe. om. Ff Q.

[13] [Falls asleep.] Ff Q. Falls from off his bench, and sleeps.
Capell. Lies down on the ground, and falls asleep. Malone.

[14] SCENE II. Pope.

Horns winded.] Winde hornes. Ff Q.

[15] _Brach_] _Leech_ Hanmer. _Bathe_ Johnson conj. _Breathe_ Mitford
conj. _Brace_ Becket conj. _Trash_ Singer.

_Brach … emboss’d_;] (_Brach_ _Merriman_, _the poor cur, is
emboss’d_,) Grant White. _Brach_, _Merriman_, _the … emboss’d_
Johnson. (_Back_ _Merriman_!–_the … emboss’d_) Anon. conj.

[23] _better_] om. Q.

[30, 31] Printed as prose in Ff Q, as verse first by Rowe (ed. 2).

[37] _bed_] _side_ Anon. conj.

[41, 42] _waked_. Lord. _Even_ … _fancy_. _Then_] _waked_, _Even_
… _fancy_. Lord. _Then_ Anon. conj.

[46] _Balm_ … _head_] _Bath_ … _hide_ Capell conj.

_in_] _with_ Rowe (ed. 2).

[55] _the third_] _a third_ Rowe.

[62] _And_ … _he is_,] Ff Q. _And when_ _he says he is poor_, Rowe
(ed. 1). _And_ … _he’s poor_, Rowe (ed. 2). _And_ … _he
is_,–Theobald. _And_ … _he’s Sly_, Johnson conj. _And when he says
what he is_, Long conj. MS. _When he says what_ _he is_, Collier MS.
_And what he says_ _he is_, Jackson conj. _And when he_ _says who he
is_, Anon. ap. Halliwell conj. See note (III).

[67] _we will_] _we’ll_ Rowe (ed. 2).

[71] [Some bear out Sly.] Theobald. om. Ff Q.

A trumpet sounds.] Sound trumpets. Ff Q.

[72] [Exit S.] Ex. Servant. Theobald. om. Ff Q.

[75] SCENE III. Pope.

Re-enter …] Enter … Ff Q.

[75, 76] _An’t … players That_] Ff Q.

_Please your honour, players That_ Pope.

_An it … Players that_ Malone.

[76] _That offer_] _That come to offer_ Capell. _That offer humble_
Collier MS.

[77] Enter P.] Ff Q, after line 76.

[80] A Player.] Edd. 2. Player. Ff Q.

[85] _fitted_] _fit_ S. Walker conj.

[86] A Player.] Sincklo. F1 Q. Sin. F2. Sim. F3 F4. 1. P. Capell. See
note (IV).

[98] A Player.] Plai. F1 F2. Play. Q. Pla. F3 F4. 1. P. Capell.

[99] See note (v).

[101] _And … one_] omitted by Rowe.

[103] _Barthol’mew_] _Bartholmew_ Ff Q. _Bartholomew_ Rowe.

[108] _bear_] F3 F4. _beare_ F1 F2. _bare_ Q.

[ Linenote 112] _soft low_] _soft slow_ Malone conj.

[113] _will_] _doth_ Q.

[120] _this seven_] _these seven_ Rowe (ed. 2). _twice seven_
Theobald.

_him_] _himself_ Rowe.

[125] _being … convey’d_] (_being … convei’d_) Ff Q.

[133] _peasant._] Johnson. _peasant_, Ff Q. _peasant_; Rowe.

[135] _the_] _their_ Collier (Collier MS.).

Scene II. _A bedchamber in the_ Lord’s _house._

_Enter aloft_ SLY, _with_ Attendants; _some with apparel_, _others with_
_basin and ewer and other appurtenances_, _and_ Lord.

_Sly_. For God’s sake, a pot of small ale.

_First Serv_. Will’t please your lordship drink a cup of
sack?

_Sec. Serv_. Will’t please your honour taste of these
conserves?

_Third Serv._ What raiment will your honour wear to-day?

_Sly._ I am Christophero Sly; call not me ‘honour’ nor 5
‘lordship:’ I ne’er drank sack in my life; and if you give me
any conserves, give me conserves of beef: ne’er ask me
what raiment I’ll wear; for I have no more doublets than
backs, no more stockings than legs, nor no more shoes than
feet; nay, sometime more feet than shoes, or such shoes as 10
my toes look through the overleather.

_Lord._ Heaven cease this idle humour in your honour!
O, that a mighty man of such descent,
Of such possessions and so high esteem,
Should be infused with so foul a spirit! 15